


Tomorrow for sure

by Mochi (Mochifel), Nyx Midnight (nyxmidnight)



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety, F/M, Female Xander, Genderbending, Hurt No Comfort, I can already hear people yelling at me, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Abuse, One-Sided Attraction, i'm still sorry, or not???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 16:11:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11383725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mochifel/pseuds/Mochi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxmidnight/pseuds/Nyx%20Midnight
Summary: Tomorrow for sure. Tomorrow she would overcome that monster called anxiety and talk to Ryoma.





	Tomorrow for sure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nyx Midnight (nyxmidnight)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxmidnight/gifts).



> This AU is an idea that came to be as I talked with Nyx Midnight and I typed down the things we haven't talked about in detail. (It's also why I listed Nyx as Co-author here)
> 
> Again, I'm sorry.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem, I don't own the characters, but I got a vivid fantasy.

Today Xandra would do it. Today she would walk over to him and start a conversation. She had played the scenario out in her mind more than once.

 

It was easy. The simplest thing on earth. If the anxiety is trying to overwhelm her imagine bunnies. That’s what her mother always told her.

 

Xandra walked towards the young Hoshidan high prince once he was done training with his father, a towel in her small hands. Her legs felt heavier the more steps she took, the closer she got.

 

Even though it was going to be a political marriage, a treaty of sorts to ensure the peace between Nohr and Hoshido, Xandra didn’t mind it. In fact, she… kind of looked forward to the time where Ryoma and her would be wed to each other. Wasn’t it the dream of every little girl to be married to the prince of her dreams? Even though he was a little too wild and loud on some days. Or many days. A lot of days.

 

Xandra took a deep breath as Ryoma wiped off the sweat from his training with the back of his hand. It was now or never.

 

“E-excuse me, Prince Ryoma…” It was barely a whisper, small and shaky, but she was speaking to him. Her gaze was directed at the ground, anywhere but at him and her face deep red. When he turned to look at her she held out the towel towards him. She avoided to look him in the eyes, even though it was impolite, but she feared that she would lose all her courage at once if she did so.

 

“T-thank you for your hard work… i-is what you say in Hoshido after training, r-right…?” Xandra quickly drew her hands back when Ryoma took the towel and wiped off the sweat. “Uh-huh. Thanks.”

 

A small smile spread on her face and her eyes shined in adoration. Even though he probably won’t see any of that with her staring at the ground. “M-may… may I… talk to you more…? I-I mean… we are…” Before she could finish her sentence a pair of calmly and rough hands took hers. It made her look up at him in an instant and for a moment she forgot the knot in her stomach and the fear in her bones when she saw the wide smile on his face.

 

“I would like that, Princess Xandra.”

 

But reality was nothing like that. She was rooted at the spot, clutching onto the towel, breathing heavily. Her legs were shaking. Her heart was beating so hard against her chest that she could hear her blood drumming in her ears. By the time she finally wound up the nerve to at least peek around the corner again, Ryoma had been long gone, the footprints in the dust were the only evidence that he had been there for real.

 

This is what always happens.

 

Whenever she tried to approach him she couldn’t bring herself to do so.

 

And even when Ryoma was just at the other end of the hall, or even just inches away, her legs moved on their own and away from him.

 

The towel slid out of her hands as she turned away from the training field, hitting the ground as she hugged herself on her way back to her room.

 

Why couldn’t she be like everyone else? Why wasn’t she able to hold conversations like everyone else and look people in the eyes instead of averting gazes and not being able to say a word. She is the high princess of Nohr, why couldn’t she be what everyone expected her to be?

 

As soon as she got to her room she locked the door behind herself and carried herself the rest of the way to her bed as she finally allowed the tears to fall. Her pillow soaked in the sobs and tears.

 

Why couldn’t she be more like her mother?

 

* * *

 

 

As soon as she had no more tears to shed Xandra sat up and took her diary out of its hiding place. She wrote about the events of the day. About having missed yet another chance to talk to Ryoma.

 

Despite it all nothing was lost. At least that was what she tried to tell herself.

 

Prince Ryoma and his father would be at Castle Krakenburg for at least one more day before they had to return to Hoshido.

 

Tomorrow for sure. Tomorrow she would overcome that monster called anxiety and talk to Ryoma. And maybe if she was fortunate he even liked her as much as she liked him. And then this engagement wouldn’t be purely for political reasons.

 

She closed her diary and hid it again before she went to sleep.

 

Tomorrow for sure…

 

* * *

 

 

When Xandra opened her eyes, she stared at the walls of her tent.

 

It’s been a while since she dreamt of the past.

 

Decades had passed since then. The tomorrow she had dreamt of as a little girl never came. Nohr and Hoshido were at war. The engagement to Ryo- no, to the high prince of Hoshido had been broken off as soon as King Sumeragi had been killed on her father’s orders. Xandra is to be wed off to a Nohrian noble as soon as a suitable match is found.

 

She knew that her fate would be the one of a trophy wife. As a young girl, she had cried many nights, had hoped that someday _someone_ would _save_ her. But no one ever came. _He_ never came. Nothing came, but bitterness.

 

The Hoshidan forces were close and it was very likely that they would be facing them today. It was all for the sake of Nohr. For the sake of her family. Today they would take back their precious sibling from the enemy. They would return home victorious and go home as a family.

 

Xandra never thought that the one she would face in battle would be the man she had been betrothed to all those years ago. Ryoma had changed physically. His shoulders were boarder, his jaw more defined, his hair much longer, but not quite as long as King Sumeragi’s used to be when he was alive.

 

He still moved with only the slightest effort and yet every swing of his blade was a perfect cut, from what she could see in the distance.

 

But she had changed too. She wasn’t a little girl anymore. She could actually talk to people now. She led a whole army. She had been shaped into her role as high princess with force, sweat blood and tears. She made Siegfried accept her as its next wielder, she earned the right to wield it.

 

With her blade drawn from its sheath she approached the Hoshidan High prince on the top of her loyal stead, with her head held high and anger and bitterness in her eyes as he challenged her to one-on-one combat. “I accept your challenge, High Prince. But I’m no general. I’m High Princess Xandra of Nohr!” Her voice was loud and she spoke with confidence, then charged at her enemy in a sprint.

 

Tomorrow had come. But it couldn’t be further away from the tomorrow she had dreamt of as a child.


End file.
